I find it interesting and incredibly surprising that Jewish clergy and educators never ask themselves several fundamental threshold questions: Who are our “customers?” Where are they coming from? What is their Jewish background and level of Jewish education? What are they looking for? And what do they need? What are they interested in? What triggers or motivations have drawn them to Judaism in general and to their specific synagogue in particular? Failing to ask these important questions inevitably leads to the creation of “products” and delivery of messages that frequently miss the point by failing to address these issues. Thus, there’s a substantial disconnect between the clergy and their congregants. It’s not surprising that these leaders are utterly “tone deaf” and clueless. We therefore shouldn’t be surprised that much of what happens in the synagogue and in Jewish education literally falls on deaf ears and fails to make a meaningful connection with the very audience that is the intended recipient of these messages. So, once again, we fail to ask the right (or any) questions. Another of the many missed opportunities. We shouldn’t be surprised that most Jews are utterly turned off to “organized” Jewish worship. Instead, they are both bored and come away with the impression that “organized” Judaism doesn’t address their fundamental needs and interests. In short, we never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity!
jewish change
“American history is often driven by passionate outsiders who force themselves into the center of American life.” David Brooks – NYT 1/5/10
Jewish religious leaders constantly ask their congregants to live a religiously observant Jewish life. That’s how they were trained. That’s what they think they were hired to do. However, most rabbis never bother to either ask or educate their congregants regarding the beneficial effects of living this type of life. They seem to assume that the benefits to be derived from living a religiously observant life are self-evident. In making this assumption, they utterly fail to give their congregants a context for living this type of life. They never explain why this is desirable. Thus, they fail to articulate what they claim are the goals and benefits that their congregants will experience if the advice is followed.
What are we trying to achieve? What is our goal when we ask people to be observant Jews? Is it to adhere to God’s law? Is it to adhere to a comprehensive set of ethics, values, norms and a code for living? Is it to achieve a level of deep spirituality? Is it connection with other like-minded individuals? Is it to build an intimate spiritual community? All of these are acceptable and even laudatory goals. However, the means for achieving the goals will vary widely. That’s one of the reasons why it’s imperative that we strive to identify in a positive, affirmative manner what we’re trying to achieve or “sell” to our constituents by asking them to live and worship Jewishly.
Let’s first agree on what are our goals before we tell people what they should do. Jews will no longer blindly follow a code, a set of instructions or a set of laws. While guilt may have worked for earlier generations, it clearly won’t work today for modern North American Jews. Instead, today’s Jews must be shown in an affirmative manner what the benefits, the positive outcomes and indeed what the payoffs will be by living a committed and observant Jewish life. Let’s not assume that people automatically understand what these benefits are without ever being taught about them. Take the time to start at the beginning again and not put the cart before the horse. In short, let’s begin the conversation.
Virtually all rabbis, even the Reform ones, erect obstacles to prevent Jews from marrying people where one of the people is not willing to convert to Judaism. Even when the couple is strongly committed to raising their children Jewish, rabbis seem to go out of their way to make it difficult for the interfaith couple to be married in a Jewish ceremony by a rabbi. This is shortsighted and wrong-headed. It is as if the rabbis believe that their refusal to perform a Jewish marriage ceremony for an interfaith couple is the one thing that will prevent intermarriage. If that were true, there might be some validity to their irrational policy. However, this is clearly not the case. Fifty percent or more Jewish people are already “voting with their feet” and electing to marry a non-Jew and without a Jewish marriage ceremony. So, it’s clear that the policy followed by most rabbis regarding the conduct of a Jewish wedding ceremony for interfaith couples is not having the intended effect. More importantly, why do we continually go out of our way to make the interfaith couple feel unwelcomed to Jewish worship and practice? If Jews are already choosing to marry non-Jewish without a Jewish ceremony, why not do whatever we can to support the Jewish partner’s decision to raise the children Jewish and make the couple feel comfortable and welcomed in the synagogue? Once again, it is as if we never miss the opportunity to miss the opportunity to make interfaith couples feel welcomed and to support the Jewish partner’s decision to raise the children as Jews. This is another reason why the existing Jewish establishment is inadequate in both its training and skill set to deal with important issues of today.
Who Am I?
Hello and welcome to my Blog. My interest in doing this Blog is to promote dialogue on ways we can reinvigorate, reimagine and ultimately transform Judaism into a religion that has more meaning, power and relevance in the lives of ordinary Jews. My vision of a transformative Judaism is one where the largely artificial boundaries, distinctions and turf battles embodied by the major streams (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist) either evaporate or become irrelevant. They will be replaced with a new non-denominational brand of Judaism that is more responsive to the personal and spiritual needs of its members. It will do this by emphasizing fundamental Jewish values that infuse new meaning and relevance into Jewish rituals and practice. This new form of Judaism will also be concerned about finding creative ways to attract previously disconnected and disaffected Jews. It will further try to create opportunities for people involved in mixed marriages to understand and experience the beauty of Jewish wisdom.
I welcome your comments and feedback regarding my ideas.
Jim Stein
It has been said that Judaism is both a religion and a way of life. The concepts of honoring and promoting life are infused throughout all aspects of Judaism. You’ve obviously heard the expression, “La Chaim – To Life!” Now there’s documented evidence that many of the spiritual values and cultural practices of Judaism have been proven to actually prolong life and give it greater meaning and purpose.
In his book, The Blue Zones, (subtitled, “Lessons For Living Longer From The People Who’ve Lived The Longest,”) Dan Buettner, in collaboration with the National Geographic Society, identified six societies where the people tend to live to a much older age and who lead a much more mentally and physically active life than those outside of that society. Consequently, the cultures Buettner identified have a much greater percentage of the population who live past 100 years.
One of the better examples of a group composed of longer-living, more active individuals is the Seventh Day Adventists in the United States. Buettner notes that some of the defining characteristics of this group that contribute to a longer, more active life are the religion’s strong emphasis on their Sabbath on which they do no physical labor of any kind. Seventh Day Adventists, like observant Jews, also attend religious services Saturday mornings spending their time in prayer and contemplation by living in community with other like-minded individuals. After religious services, Seventh Day Adventists gather as families for a Sabbath meal. Family celebrations and meals are very important values for these people.
After lunch, the Seventh Day Adventists go on nature walks. They experience the out-of-doors as a family and as a community. The nature walks reinforce both the spiritual character of the day and the value of not working on the Sabbath. In short, these practices give Seventh Day Adventists greater purpose in a life where spiritual contemplation, family and community become ritualized as widely shared values.
Doesn’t this sound like what observant Jews do? The trouble is that neither Jewish religious leaders nor individual Jews understand the connection between the religious practice or ritual and the life-sustaining benefits those practices promote. As a result of this significant disconnect, Jews by and large are deprived of the fundamental values of their religion. Is it any wonder that the vast majority of Jews decline to participate in any kind of Shabbat observance? What a pity.